“Probin, Wait for me!” Exclaimed Kody.
The two brothers waited for Kody to catch up to them on the path in front of our flat.
“Where you go?” Said Kody.
“Nowhere…….., Wanna come?” Said Probin’s brother Prathik.
“Yes please” Said Kody, and the threesome was off.
This happens everyday at our house. Kody loves it here. His two closest friends live next door in a concrete house with a tin roof about the size of a one car garage. The boys live with their parents, sister, and usually another visiting family member. They have no running water, only enough electricity to run two light bulbs, and no furniture. They cook, clean, and pretty much exist outside in the area between our houses. To Kody this is a dream come true. Unlimited access to playing outside and friends that are always nearby.
The threesome can be found playing soccer, hitting each other with sticks, building fires, collecting garbage, and throwing mud and water balloons at each other and the other neighborhood kids. They are 100% boys and they do not want to be mistaken for anything less. Kody comes in at night after dark looking like he just finished playing rugby for several hours. His clothes quickly became just like all the other kids around here. Kody has mastered the art of blending in and making friends.
At school Kody has an interesting mix of kids to play with. Most are Nepali but some are Japanese, Chinese, Norwegian, and Dutch. The problem of language is seldom ever noticed. Most speak a little English, but it really doesn’t matter. They speak on a different level. The language of children is spoken here just like it is anywhere else in the World. As a parent I cannot help but think that maybe we should look to them for a little guidance. Kids are color blind at Kody’s age and it does not matter what a persons race or social status is. All a child looks for is a friend or companion on the road of life, someone to share your life with.
Things apparently get more complicated as we get older. I cannot honestly say that I have been the victim of a lot of prejudice in my life. That all changed when I came here. For political reasons many people here hated me because of where I am from. I am proud to be an American, but many people hated me for it. They labeled me as they do others before they even got to know me. He must be a Glutton, Greedy, Self Centered, a War Monger, a Spy, and the list goes on. One of the first things people ask me when they are introduced to me is, “Where are you from?” The answer will dictate how far this conversation will progress. There are many places in this country that I cannot go because I will be turned around and told to leave or worse.
Being pre-judged by others has taught me many things.
First, I am glad to have experienced it.
The experience forced me to examine my life and the way I look at others. Do I treat a person different because of how much money he makes? Where he lives? What kind of car he drives?
Secondly, the experience gave me a different perspective on the way I look at the person who is prejudice.
Am I really the victim because of their prejudice or are they only hurting themselves? Lastly, I can react two ways to this. I can become bitter and angry or I can choose another reaction? I know what the right thing to do is, but the temptation is always present.
As I sit and look out the window at Kody playing with his friends I cannot help but think that they must be on to something. Surely there is something we as adults can learn from kids. Kody does not have money or status. He does not hold any degrees or write any scientific journals. He has a soccer ball and wants someone to kick it with him. Kody’s closest friends come from a family that earns less than $300 a year. Kody does not care and neither do his friends. Instead of being Kody’s teacher maybe I should be the student?
The annual pilgrimage to Pashupatinath is over and Kathmandu is full of Saddhus who have yet to leave. Many believe that the day after the festival it will rain. The rain will be the gods way of making the Saddhus go back to India. This year was no exception. The forecast called for clear skies, but it did rain.
One of the problems with the Saddhus leaving is the question of what to do with so many Cobras that were brought up by the snake charmers. They were illegally brought across the border into Nepal and their owners do not want to risk taking them back across the border. In previous years the snakes were donated to the zoo near our house. The problem was that many were severely malnourished and eventually died. There were so many of them that the zoo was not prepared to take care of them. This year the zoo refused to take any of the snakes and issued a statement to the newspaper that they should be turned loose. This was not my first suggestion of what to do with these snakes. There are enough ways to kill yourself in Kathmandu. We don't need dozens of hungry King Cobras turned loose in the crowded city.
I have to say that I have been very interested in the Saddhus during their visit to Kathmandu. Many are still hanging around near my office and they are a fascinating group of people to study. They are trying to find salvation or enlightenment by renouncing the temptations of the flesh. Some will stand in place for years without sitting down. Others will only drink milk and never eat food. Some will torture their bodies so that they cannot be tempted by anything that is desirable. Others will force themselves to consume human flesh to show their devotion. They truly live a life of torture and self deprivation......... Whether or not you agree with their theology you still have to respect their desire and dedication to what they believe in.
Saddhus are not the only group to teach their followers to deprive themselves of anything that they desire. I have seen this kind of teaching in many other religeons, including Christianity. The focus becomes on the deprivation of the desires of the flesh and not on the reasons you are depriving the flesh. The focus becomes inward instead of towards the one that is being worshiped. How many other religeons teach that the way to salvation is through following a set of rules and always obeying them?
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that I belive that rules are bad, or that following them even when you don't feel like it is a bad thing. No, I am just curious as to how many people look beyond the rules to focus on the reason for the rules. For instance, do I follow the speed limit because I fear the police officer or do I realize that the speeding laws are created to help give me some guidance so that I do not crash my car? Am I kind to the poor man that lives next to me because I feel like I have to be or because I believe that God was kind to me in the midst of my poverty and I want to share that love? Do I serve the widows and the orphans out of duty or out of a passionate desire to share the love that was shown to me?
The Saddhus are a interesting group. I have seen them in many other forms. The religeous person who spent their whole life looking for God.
The missionary who spent their whole life trying to teach others to follow their religeon and they were not sure why?
The confused young person who tried one religeon after another trying to find what he is looking for.
The business executive who believed that climbing the ladder and earning lots of money would one day make all his dreams come true.
The man at the airport who believes that he has to convert someone to his faith so that he can earn his salvation.
The Saddhus have caused me to examine my own life. They have caused me to ask myself why I believe what I believe. When you take away all the religeon what is left? What is the motivation behind everything I do.
The Saddhus did not try and teach me anything but because of them I have learned alot about myself.
This week is the week of Maha Shivaratri, the great night of lord shiva. The festival is held at the Pashupatinath Temple in Kathmandu and for Hindus this is one of the most important festivals of the year. Pilgrims from India flood the already overcrowded city and devotees from all over the country line up to offer prayers to lord shiva. Shiva is the Hindu god of destruction.
This is the festival for the Sadhus, Hindu ascetics, who mostly reside in India. At this festival they will be given food and all the marijuana, (or gaaja), they can smoke. There will be over 3000 Sadhus at the festival. This is the only day of the year that Hindus can smoke marijuana legally. Devotees believe that lord shiva smoked marijuana and so they smoke it as part of their worship to him. The celebration begins on the night of February 17th and the devotees will stay up all night and continue the celebration the next day. They cover themselves in ash and offer prayers and devotions as part of the celebration.
The Pashupatinath Temple is also the place where Hindus cremate the bodies of their dead. The bodies are burned on the side of the Bagmati River and then the ashes released into the river. Crowds of people lined the river banks to watch the priests burn the bodies during the festival.
A Saddhu usually does not have a home to return to after the festival. They will make pilgrimages from temple to temple. They will go to peoples houses and ask for money in exchange for a blessing prayed for them. They will read palms and tell peoples fortunes in an effort to make money also. They are seen as holy men and treated with respect. People will consult a Sadhu in an effort to find wisdom.
The Saddhus begin their quest for enlightenment by shaving their heads. Once they begin they will not likely ever cut their hair again and the length of their dread locks can be a sign of how long they have been a Saddhu. Shaving their heads is a way of showing their death of their previous ignorance. From that point on they will try and put to death all forms of materialism. They do not want anything to worry about. They believe that life is a prewritten script and that everything is already decided for them.
There are four sects of Saddhus. The Nath, Bairagi, Naga, and Udasi all worship in different ways and can be distinguished by differences in their appearance and worship styles. The Naths pierce their ears. The Bairagi wear all white. The Naga have a complete disregard for all material things including most of their clothes, but by far the most interesting are the Udasi. The Udasi are attired in black and they strike fear in the eyes of children when they come around. They believe that nothing in the world is detestable. This means that consuming human flesh is not a sin. They are often seen around crematoriums practicing the ritual of eating dead bodies. Parents in Hindu families often use these Saddhus to scare their children by threatening them that if they don't behave a Udasi will eat them.
I asked some of my language teachers about the festival in an effort to learn more about it. They told me to be very careful visiting the festival. There will be many people at the festival trying to steal from visitors and it will be obvious that I am just a visitor. They also can pray some black magic on you if you don’t give them the money that they ask for.
I found myself being stared at by many of the people at the festival. Saddhus approached me three different times and tried to place a red dot on my forehead as a blessing from lord shiva. They were not happy when I refused to let them and tried to explain that I was not a Hindu. Many others approached me and asked me for money and were not too happy when I refused to give them any.
Today was also important because it was another strike or bandh. The Maoists called the bandh and because of it everything was closed. Stores cannot open and vehicles cannot drive on the road. People have to walk or ride a bike if they want to go to work. If a person decides to drive a vehicle he or she can do one of a couple of things. The driver can cover the license plate and just make a run for it and hope that they do not get caught or they can write an excuse on the side of their vehicle. The few vehicles that I saw on the road had signs displaying, “Tourist Only, Media, or Medical Emergency.” If a mob seizes one of these vehicles it will be overturned and torched.
This month is a special month because it is the anniversary of the peoples war. This is why we are experiencing so many bandhs and riots. There has also been an increase in the amount of bombing in Kathmandu. Please pray for peace during this month that many celebrate the night of the god of destruction.
I know what you are thinking.
"Why would I want to read about grocery shopping????????"
Well I thought the same thing up until today. Today Luke and I took a walk. I was interested in taking some pictures so I walked to the nearest bazar. We don't have bazars in the west, so to speak. We have strip malls and grocery stores. This is totally different here in Nepal. There are many reasons for the differences. Most people here just walk everywhere and they must shop often. Many do not have refrigeration and even if they did they would not make enough money to put much in it. To feed themselves they have to go to the grocery store everyday and it has to be close to their house because they have to walk there. So there are bazars in every part of town.
Some of the wealthier parts of town have actual grocery stores and they are good for buying certain things. The open air markets are for buying the important things...... Rice, spices, meat, religious items, and flip flop shoes are all found in every bazar.
The nearest big bazar to our house in Mangal Bazar and there are some smaller ones on every street corner. We get most of our daily food and household items from these bazars. Mangal Bazar boarders a large temple area called Patan Durbar Square and you cannot go to the bazar without taking notice of the spiritual side of this part of town.
Walking through the bazar is always an interesting trip. People try and sell you nearly anything from yak tongue to real monkey skull ash trays. The smells can be overwhelming at times. You should just leave your nose at home. The smell of rancid butter, meat, stray dogs, incense, and body odor combine to make a aroma that one can only appreciate after a few trips to the bazar.
With Luke on my back I can quickly become the center of attention. Older Nepali women seem to think that blonde haired boys are the most interesting thing since the yeti. They will surround us and pinch his cheeks until I can make a get away attempt. If you talk to the women that are so interested in Luke you will here them say that he was born in the west. The reason is that they believe that blonde haired people can only be born in the west. If they were born in Nepal there hair would have been brown or black.
One such stranger approached me and asked me if I wanted some "smoke." For the life of me I cannot see why he would think that I would want some "Smoke."
"I am carrying a baby on my back!"
"How many pot heads do you meet at the grocery store with their children?????"
"No, I don't want any 'smoke'."
At the end of the day Luke and I make our way back to our little flat. He is always exhausted. The sights, smells, and people pinching his cheeks leave him ready for a nap.
I usually don't pay much attention to the bazar, but today I stopped to notice that this is a very unusual place. I hate it sometimes when I just want to get one thing and I have to go through this quarter mile of stuff to find some little thing. I dream of going to a grocery store back home where I know exactly where everything is. Where people dont shove up against me and push things in my face that I don't want. Where I can just go buy something without having to argue over the price. A store where this is no "skin tax" added to anything a white person buys. A store where the meat is not delivered on a bicycle covered in blow flys. Where I don't have to spend 10 minutes talking about someones family just so I can buy something.
The only problem with western grocery stores is that I would miss the whole experience of shopping in the open air bazar. I would miss the friendly old stranger who always wants to know about how your family is doing. I would miss the old ladies who line up to pinch Luke's fat cheeks and make him smile. Luke will be bored to death when we have to start shopping in the west again.
One of the first people to greet you at the airport when you arrive in Nepal will be a beggar. The airport is a popular place to try and get money from unsuspecting tourists. The Nepal government says it is illegal to beg for money and that foreigners should never give. With this in mind you walk off the airplane and are assaulted by dozens of needy people begging for your change.
This immediately puts you in a dillema. What do you do? They are not asking for much. I mean for the cost of a cup of coffee you could give them all they need to live for a day, right??? Maybe you could pick the neediest ones and give them something? There is certainly no way to support them all unless you yourself want to become a beggar too.
I don't claim to have any answers to these questions. I see them everyday. They see a white face and it means dollar signs to them. They try and look as pitiful as they can and then they come up and tell you how difficult their life is, or how sick their mother is, or how they need money for food, etc, etc. At first I used to try and befriend them, get to know them, explain that I would not give them money, and then take them to dinner with me if they hung around. Most will take off the second you mention that you will not give. The ones that hang around usually make good dinner conversation. Sometimes, a group of them will get jealous of the one, then you have some problems to deal with. They are mad at their friend for taking the time to have dinner with you. The reason is that they are part of a group that makes a living off begging for money and they expect him to share and he cannot because he is eating with me.
Another approach is to research the person and see if you can really help. You can go to the hospital where they say their grandmother is dying because they cant pay the bill and see if it is true. Needless to say, it is never true. The hospital would treat them anyways even if they would not get paid.
One of the scams that they often use is to tell you that they just want food. "Please give me some food I am starving," they would tell their victim. The person wanting to help them can go into a store and buy some food and give it to them. Sounds like a good way to help dosn't it? Well its not. As soon as you leave they take the food back and the store owner gives them a percentage of the money back. The store owner even gets a cut off this scam.
Often times the beggar is a true victim. They are exploited by their parents or an organized group. The "pimp" makes the child beg all day and then he or she pockets the money that is made. This is replusive because the child is often deprived of good nutrition, even though they could afford it, because they want the child to look emaciated and needy.
One such case occurred at the hospital when a mother used her child to beg for money. She kept depriving the child to make more money until the child finally was brought to the hospital where she died. To make matters worse, the same mother had another child the next year and that child too died because of the same reason. There was a third child who also died at the hands of the same mother. The problem is that there is no social services to go investigate this case and the mentally ill mother refused to let go of her child so that the child could be adopted. This would mean losing her source of income.
Despite all this bad news there is still some hope. There are several boys and girls homes around the city that take care of homeless children. Many are trying to address this problem but the problem is rooted in the country itself. Hinduism and Buddhism, (the two predominant religeons in Nepal), both teach about Karma. Karma is a way to earn points in this lifetime by being kind or good so that in the next life you can be reincarnated as something better than you were in this life. For many it means being reincarnated as a higher caste. For some it might mean reaching enlightenment. No matter what the case, giving to beggars helps you accumulate more Karma and so it is very popular in Nepal.
On Sunday night Shawna and I went to a local place of worship to people watch. Thousands of devoted Buddhists flooded the temple area and spun prayer wheels and chanted prayers. As we watched we noticed a tiny little girl. She had to be severely malnourished because she was so small. She walked over to an older man and gave him some money that she received from begging and he pulled out a huge wad of cash and took the money from her before sending her back out into the crowd. Its really disgusting what some people can do to children.
Wanting to help is one of the reasons that we came here to Nepal. We are taught to help the poor and the needy. I don't know what the answer is to helping the needy here. I cant help but feel sorry for them but I honeslty don't know what the answer is. Many of the beggars that I try and befriend do not want my help. I am slowing them down from making more money begging from people that just throw a rupee at them to get them to go away. Living in this daily can cause terrible frustration and grief for the children that cannot be reached because of their parents.
If you ask a Nepali what they think should be done their response is often the same, "Ke Garne." It means "what can you do."
I would like to think that I know what my own limitations are. For example, I think I know how far I can run or how much pain I can endure before my body just cannot take it anymore. The same applies for us here in Nepal. I thought that I knew how much I could take before I threw in the towel and said that I cannot take it anymore..............................................................................
Well, I was wrong.
The last few weeks have surpassed what I thougt were my limits. It wasn't as though I could tell when I was getting close and thought to myself, "boy I better slow down because I am really reaching my limits." It all happened so fast that only as I looked back on it was I able to tell just how low we had gone.
The problems are too complicated for me to even begin to explain. There is a combination of fear, doubt, insecurity, and lonliness that combine to bring out the worst in us. The end result seldom makes any sense when you look back on it. We were told to expect it and taught about what it would do to us and our marriage, but we still were not prepared.
I could tell that there were many prayers on our behalf. There were many instances where the spiritual battle became very evident. I cannot thank you enough for your prayers through this hard time.
I thought I knew what my limits were but through this time we were able to stretch out limitations. Like an athelete in training we felt the pain of what it would take to grow. Next time we will be a little more prepared and able to handle it a little bit easier.
This month in Nepal is a very important month. It is the anniversary of the "Peoples War." There will be a marked increase in the fighting and several strikes initiated. There has already been a strike almost every day since February 1st. It is estimated that for each day a stike is called it costs the people of Nepal 6.3 million dollars. This is alot of money when the average person only makes around $200 a year.
These strikes hurt people in other ways too. Most don't make enough to buy food for more than one day. They work a days wages then go to the bazar to buy the food for the next day. When a strike is called they cannot open the stores, and even if they did they would not have any money because they were not able to go to work.
This month will be a hard month for the people of Nepal. Please keep them in your prayers.