November 8th at 6am we will fly from the airport on a one way ticket to the other side of the world. It will be an emotional time as we say our goodbyes and leave life behind as we know it. This is never easy for me.
"I pray that you will begin to understand why I am doing this. I know it makes no sense to you right now but it is something that I have to do. You will always be my hero and I am so sorry to put you through this sorrow.".............. I wrote these words to my 93 year old grandfather this week. His health is failing him and he has just recently been hospitalized with pneumonia. When I leave on the 8th it is likely that I will never see him again on this Earth. He does not understand why God would take me away from him when he is so old and sick.
Kody spent the first year of his life in an orphange in western Siberia. His birth mother abandoned him shortly after he was born. He had no family to speak of. He was an orphan.
When we adopted him he clung to us. We were the first stable relationship in his life. When we arrived in the U.S. he immediately bonded with one of the first girls he met named Ella Evans. Ever since then he has called her his best friend. Now I have to explain to him that she will be taken away. That it will be a long time before he sees her again. Needless to say, he is having a hard time with this.
How do you say goodbye in situations like these? How do you help your kids understand why we are leaving?
We wrestled with these kinds of questions this summer as part of our training at MTI. It is important that we take the time to say goodbye. Not to say "I will see you later," or "I will see you soon." The truth is that I will not see most of you very soon. We must take the time to say "Goodbye." We must say goodbye to our family, our friends, our home, our car, and even my most loyal friend Toby, (the family pet).
Please take the time to say goodbye to us before we leave. Fight the temptation to avoid it, like I would normally. This is going to be a hard time for us.
Each of us has some completely irrational fear. It may be a fear of snakes or a fear of spiders. Some of us will always take the stairs because of a fear of being locked in an elevator. Some are terrified of heights. Everyone is scared of something and that fear is completely irrational, except to us.
Aerophobia is defined as the irrational fear of flying. It combines three irrational fears that combine in different levels to make this completely debilitating, horrible, controling fear. A fear of being completely out of control, a fear of heights, and a fear of being in a confined space combine to make aerophobia. I don't have any of these three fears, but apparently when you combine all three of them I do become aerophobic.
I am not alone. Millions of Americans suffer from this terrible fear. Mine started with a bad experience on a plane just after the crash of TWA Flight 800 over New York. The thought of a plane breaking into pieces and its passengers falling thousands of feet to their death horrified me and I swore that I would never again set foot on a plane.
Ordinarily, I would recommend a person with a phobia to face their fear. If you are afraid of snakes, go to the zoo and spend some time with the reptiles or buy a pet snake. If you are scared of confined spaces, try and slowly get on an elevator. The problem came when I was so scared that I could not watch a plane take off at the airport or watch a movie with a plane on it. The thought of getting onto a plane was completely out of the question.
The sum of all my fears came to a reality two years ago when our adoption of Kody was being finalized. I would have to fly overseas to Siberia to bring my son home. I would have to face my greatest fear to complete what God had called me to do. I slowly tried to acclimate to what I was going to have to face. Tom Tate gave me a tour of the Air Traffic Control Tower and Matt McNeilly showed me how planes are so strickly maintained. Then came D-Day. I could not sleep for days prior to our departure. In the end, I did it. I faced my fear and with a lot of prayers and help from God I again flew on a plane.
Now, two years later, I am having to face that fear again to finish what God has called me to do. I don't think that God takes delight in watching me squirm. I do think that he hates to see me controled by my fears. Part of faith is facing those fears with the confidence of what He has called us to do. The only difference with this flight is that I am going to have two small children with me. This raises a new fear........... Achildonaplaneaphobia is what I call it. It combines the fear of flying with the fear of losing your mind because your kids cannot sit still for the 42 hours of flying that it takes to get you to your destination.
With all that said....... We are rejoicing in the completion of our VISA to Nepal and are excited about taking steps in the direction of what God has called us to do. Walking with God is always an adventure and it is never safe. Please keep our flight in your prayers. I am already getting nervous so I can beat the rush at the last minute.
After a long frustrating wait it appears that our VISA has been signed by the government and we are expected in Nepal on or around the first of November. Our flight arrangements have not been made yet so we do not know when exactly we will be leaving. This is very good news but it is also sad news. It means that we only have about three weeks left with our friends and families. It means I have to say goodbye to my faithful dog Toby. It means our kids have to say goodbye to all their friends at Church and in school. It is the close to life as we know and enjoy it here in the US.
Next month will be a month of transition. We will be learning to live in a new environment. Cook in a different way. Eat different foods. Sleep in different beds. We will have to watch a curfew that is in effect while the war is going on. Anyone caught out after 9pm is subject to be shot on sight! The gravity of this sunk in last night as I walked my dog and realized how safe it was here and how much I took for granted being able to take a walk.
These are exciting times. Please try and spend some time with us before we leave. Thanks for your continued prayers.