The Danger of Getting Too Close

When I first came to Nepal with Shawna in the spring of 2003 I found a fascinating place. I found a place deeply rooted in spirituality and I saw a face of poverty that I had never seen. It was something that many people experience when visiting Nepal and it is something that you never forget. The problem is that you see it through the lens of a camera and despite the proximity of your subject you still remain separated and removed. None the less, you leave Nepal with a deeper sense of concern for such an impoverished condition that such wonderful people find themselves.

When I returned to Nepal I found the same problems but my proximity to the subjects has changed. Before I was able to take something from Nepal and now I am able to share with them in what is happening. Now I am affected by the strikes and protests and I too hear bombs going off near my house. It’s the danger of living here. You get too close to your subjects and now it is not so easy to walk away. Before I was thrilled to leave this place of wonder and hardship and return to my place in the World, a place that is more comfortable and safer. Now it is different. Now, when I photograph a starving homeless child I am able to speak to them and understand some of what they are saying. I am able to touch them and even take them to get some food. Now they have names and are not just faces.

One of the areas that we are working in is the poorest place on Earth. The quality of life index is the lowest of anywhere on the planet. The life expectancy is 37 years old and 50% of the children who are born there will not live to see their second birthday. Their life is further complicated by the Maoists problem in their area. Each week there are rumors of impending attacks and thousands have been kidnapped and forced to serve in the guerilla army. They serve as porters, cooks, and medics in exchange for their families being left alone for a period of time. Most of the kidnapped victims are young boys and girls who are taken from their schools.

The village is high in the mountains and the climate is very inhospitable. Winters are very cold and summers provide less than enough food to feed the starving population. Most just plod through life until they die and live in constant wonder why they were even born. Many believe that in their past life they must have misbehaved to deserve such a hard place in life.

The people who volunteer to work in villages like this run the risk of getting too close and the cost is more than many can take. Getting close to these wonderful people means doing without many of the things that most of us have come to expect. It means doing without food and living in impoverished conditions. Their work is often frustrated by the difficulties of serving in the middle of a war zone. Development work is often used by both sides in the conflict as a weapon against the other. Insurgents put pressure on the development agencies in hopes that they will pressure the government to submit to their demands. The government can impose restrictions on the development agencies or revoke visas as a means of cutting off support to areas that are controlled by the insurgents. The heroes that decide to answer the call to serve here take on a life of hardship and carry a burden that is often times too much. I still cannot believe some of the stories that these volunteers tell when they come to visit at headquarters.

I think this is a good place for each of us to be, even though it hurts sometimes. I believe that our Father has already run the risk of getting too close and His heart is broken more than ours could ever be. His love for the poor, the orphans, and the widows runs deeper than we will know in this lifetime. I think in many ways I have taken more from Nepal than I will ever be able to give back.

One of my favorite things to do in Nepal is take pictures and my favorite pictures are not of the mountains or the rivers, my favorite pictures are of the people. Their faces tell the stories of a lifetime of struggles and it is important to put down the camera and share with the subjects in the photograph. One thing that Nepali children love to see is their picture on a digital camera. By showing them their own picture I am able to break down the barrier of the lens and it gives me the chance to talk to the subject. The problem I keep having is that the children want to crawl all over you to horde around the cameras LCD to see their picture. I have been exposed to head lice more times that I can even count and it makes my head itch just writing about it. It gives me a chance to get dirty and show them that I am not just wanting to take from them. The danger now is that you get too close. Now you will never be the same.

Posted by Jon at April 24, 2004 05:09 AM